Human Nature
by TARDIS-elf
Summary: Set after SotT. When the British Museum exhibits travel to New York, two mysterious figures with an interest in the tablet are enough to push Larry back into his job as a night guard. But this was definitely more than he bargained for. And that interest in the tablet was more like a psychotic interference. Practicing character development with this fic. R&R Click! :)
1. Chapter 1

They came on a school bus full of students on a fieldtrip: two hooded figures, boy and girl as far as anyone could tell. They carried a set of tools that would've passed in ancient Egypt. The boy carried a khopesh and the girl, a staff. They spoke quietly between themselves and made a beeline for the Egypt exhibit, and more specifically, to Ahkmenrah and his tablet which were on display from the British Museum.

The cryptic pair hung around the exhibit for a good long while, chanting so quietly hardly a soul could hear. Afterwards, they walked away from the museum as quickly and silently as they had come, unaccompanied by any teachers or classmates.

No one had been bothered by their presence. As far as most people were concerned, there was nothing to worry about. A couple of quiet teenagers weren't going to cause any considerable harm. But Larry Daley noticed, and he knew the harm that could come from things that people overlook. He wasn't a night guard anymore, but he was a friend to most of the exhibits. If these kids changed anything, Larry would be first in line to help.

Larry made his way to Dr. McPhee as swiftly as he could manage. "Hey, McPhee," Larry greeted the curator.

"Ah, here he is: the king of the museum, come to save us all no doubt," McPhee responded sarcastically.

Larry had long ago learned to tolerate this attitude from the curator. He ignored McPhee's sarcasm and got straight to the point. "Hey, I was wondering if I could stay the night here. I wanted to say hi to everybody."

McPhee clapped his hands together. "Oh, I bet that'd be lovely."

"Yeah, it would be, actually," Larry agreed.

"No." McPhee walked off, leaving his answer hanging in the air. Larry followed him.

"No?" he repeated incredulously. "These guys are my friends."

"You're not a night guard anymore, Larry," McPhee sighed as though he were already exhausted by the conversation. "This museum is a page that you've turned."

Larry could see that he wasn't getting anywhere with the friendly approach. He stepped closer.

"Don't hurt me!" McPhee squeaked.

"What? I'm not—I'm not going to hurt you. I'm trying to tell you that I think something might be wrong with the tablet." Larry told McPhee all about the two chanting figures.

"Oh, what? You think two kids could ruin things with a little hocus-pocus magic?" McPhee challenged when Larry had finished.

"I'm not going to say it's not a possibility," Larry responded seriously. "Look, I'm only asking to stay so I can check on everything."

McPhee paused and sighed. "If you want your job back, you're welcome to stay the night."

"Done." And after three years, Larry Daley was a night guard again.

* * *

Larry slipped back into his routine easily. There were a few changes, of course. New traveling exhibits from London were sprinkled here and there. Ahkmenrah's parents, Merenkahre and Shepseheret had joined him on this trip to New York. And Tilly, the British night guard was there.

"This is great. Both of us working at the same museum," she was saying. "Kind of like old times, y'know?"

"Uh, yeah," Larry agreed, not really paying attention to what she was saying. "Old times when you babysat La, I guess."

"Speaking of which, I'm going to go head over there until the sun sets," she announced. "You do whatever it is you're here to do. If you need me, we have walkie-talkies which are really cool. I don't get them in London. Maybe 'cos it's just me there, but it's still pretty unfair."

"Yup," Larry absently responded. "Have fun over by the cavemen." Tilly left without another word, which was undoubtedly a rare occasion.

The sun was just disappearing. The exhibits came to life as they always did with the help of the tablet. So far, so good.

It had been years since Larry had seen all the exhibits alive. He had almost forgotten how much he missed them.

"Rexy!" Larry greeted as the dinosaur skeleton creaked to life. "Long time, no see, buddy."

"Lawrence!" Teddy greeted as he dismounted Texas. "Good to see you lad!"

"Good to be back, Teddy. How is everything?"

"We've been excellent!" Teddy responded. "It's going to be an enjoyable four months." He was referring to the four months the tablet would be in New York. It seemed a shame. Ahkmenrah and the tablet come home only to return in a few short months. Nevertheless, things must go on.

Just as Larry had predicted, it wasn't long before there was trouble. Jedidiah and Octavius drove up in their RC car, which they undoubtedly wasted no time to find. "Well, well, well," Jedidiah began. "Look who's back in uniform. Gigantor himself."

"Hi, guys," Larry greeted. "It's been a while."

"Yes, three years, to be exact," Octavius pointed out. "Far too long."

"I agree," Larry stated.

Jedidiah elbowed Octavius. "Don't forget to tell him about that one thing."

"I was getting to that," Octavius defended himself. "And I was going to break it to him gently."

"Well, you weren't getting to it quick enough," Jedidiah countered.

"Guys, guys, wait." Larry interrupted. "What one thing? What's wrong?"

Octavius hesitated. "We're not quite up to the task of describing it. It's better that we show you. Follow us to the Egyptian exhibit."

Larry glanced at Teddy and they came to a silent, mutual agreement. Whatever it was that was worrying Jed and Octavius, it was no trivial matter.

They both followed the RC car to Egypt. Before Larry even walked inside the main exhibit, he heard an unfamiliar voice. It was definitely a female voice. He couldn't make out exactly what she was saying, but he could tell that her tone was light and mischievous.

When they walked inside, they saw Ahkmenrah and his parents, which was no surprise. However, there was an extra character in the group. She looked Jewish, but was dressed in a golden Egyptian-style dress. She seemed to be about nineteen years old at least. She was rambling on about something or the other. Larry could hardly pick out a word of it.

Ahkmenrah was staring at her in horror, looking as pale as a ghost. Merenkahre appeared absolutely baffled and just a little offended. Shepseheret seemed more confused than both of them combined.

"What is going on?" Larry interrupted the incessant babbling of the foreign exhibit.

The girl spun around to face Larry. "Oh, it's you! The night guard! I was wondering when you would show up, or if you would even show up at all. Of course, I guessed that you had no choice. You can smell when there's trouble brewing, can't you? Something I've noticed about you: you never pass up the opportunity to get into trouble. Did you know that about yourself?"

Larry furrowed his eyebrows. "Who is this?" he demanded. The question was directed at Ahkmenrah, but the pharaoh was still in no condition to speak at all.

"I've forgotten to introduce myself!" the girl realized out loud. "How careless of me!" The girl stood up straight and her voice took on an air of importance. "I am the tablet of Ahkmenrah, pharaoh of Egypt, fourth king of the fourth king. And I have become human."


	2. Chapter 2

The tablet broke her serious posture and grinned. "I have a voice," she declared. Then she gasped. "I have a British accent. I've always thought to myself, if ever I was to have a voice, I would want one with a British accent, and now I've got one! It must be all that time at Cambridge. That's how you got yours, right Ahkmenrah?"

"How could this have happened?" Merenkahre muttered before Ahkmenrah could answer.

"I'm not sure," Larry admitted, though he wanted to say something more like _It's your tablet, you should know._

The tablet frowned at Larry. "Well, don't look so shocked, night guard," she chided. "You knew something was wrong. You just didn't know it was _this_ wrong."

"Wait a second," Larry interrupted. "How did you know I knew something?"

The tablet rolled her eyes, as though she was severely disappointed. "And they say there aren't stupid questions… I've always had a consciousness, night guard. I saw you lurking around. I confess, I did help those dear little magicians out just a bit. They couldn't have reached back to pick a form for me, so I did, and I chose this one. I have an idea of what I look like, but I'm not entirely sure. Does anyone have a mirror?"

Larry glanced at Ahkmenrah, who still looked ready to pass out. "Ahk, what's going on?"

Ahkmenrah's mouth was opened like he wanted desperately to say something, but couldn't. He merely shrugged and shook his head.

The tablet huffed and place her hands on her hips. "Well, if nobody's going to offer me a mirror, I'll go find one." And with that, she marched off.

Naturally, they couldn't leave her alone, not for one instant. So they all followed her until she found the mirror in the ladies' restroom.

"Oh, I see what I've done!" she exclaimed. "How terribly clever of me! I look an awful lot like that one particular slave. The one that always hung around where she wasn't wanted? What was her name, Ahkmenrah?"

Ahkmenrah spoke for the first time. "M—Miriam," he managed to choke out.

The tablet clapped her hands together. "Miriam! That's right. I've dressed her up quite royally," she observed, admiring her golden apparel. "In any case, my name must match my face. You must all call me Miriam."

Ahkmenrah felt a surge of resentment go up his spine. How terrible it would be to look inside "Miriam's" mind to see what possessed her to say such awful things. No one else would've understood it, but his tablet did. He knew she did by her smirk. If his tablet knew anything about him at all, she knew that what she was saying was horribly cruel and insensitive.

Larry was the first to recover from disbelief. "Well, Miriam," he began cautiously. "Welcome back to the museum, and make yourself at home."

Miriam's smug expression fell. "How disappointing," she murmured.

Larry furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, is there something wrong?"

Sighing in resignation, Miriam answered. "Well, you were going to find out eventually so I might as well tell you now." There was a glimmer of amusement in her eyes as she announced, "I was really hoping for more drama. I absolutely thrive on tension. Ra knows how long it's been since I've seen an episode of the Kardashians. You never bring the television around anymore, Ahkmenrah. Shame on you."

"You cannot leave her alone, Larry Daley," Merenkahre insisted. "She is a powerful being with a self-proclaimed desire for chaos. We must keep a watchful eye on her."

Miriam looked on with anticipation. "Oh, no, your most royal highness," she begged sarcastically. "Please don't suggest such a thing as a guard. I assure you, you're blowing this way out of proportion."

As much as Larry hated to agree with Merenkahre, he had to admit that he had a point. On the other hand, she obviously wanted someone to watch over her. That could be a part of some chaotic plan. The whole situation was so bizarre that Larry wasn't quite sure how to deal with it. "Is that what you want, Miriam?" Larry questioned. "You want someone to babysit you?"

Miriam grinned. "You're getting the hang of it, night guard," she announced as though she could read his mind. Come to think of it, Larry wasn't entirely sure she couldn't. Miriam raised her hand. "If we're taking a vote, I vote that Ahkmenrah take the first shift."

Panic chilled every inch of Ahkmenrah. He did not want to be left alone with this sociopath. In fact, he was starting to consider it a miracle that he had put with her even when she was an inanimate object.

Larry noticed the terror in Ahkmenrah's eyes and shook his head. He couldn't accommodate Miriam in every aspect. Her demands were specific, for one reason or another. Larry preferred not to find out why. However, he could not begrudge her a guard. "Sorry, Ahkmenrah's a bit busy right now."

Miriam raised her eyebrows. She wasn't convinced.

"Horrendously busy," Ahkmenrah agreed. "I hardly have time to sort things out right now."

"Yeah, exactly," Larry continued. "But Jed and Oct will be more than happy to keep an eye on you. Won't you guys?"

"You can count on us, Gigantor!" Jed promised.

Miriam stared down at the two miniatures with minor disgust. "Lovely," she mumbled, while everyone left save the dynamic duo. "I'm stuck with Hercules and Hillbilly Joe."

Octavius glared up at Miriam. "You of all people know that I am no Hercules."

Jedidiah nodded in agreement. "Yeah! And I ain't no hillbilly!"

Miriam knelt down next to the two. "Perhaps not," she allowed. "However, the undeniable fact is that you're tiny and annoying."

"That just ain't nice," Jedidiah accused, sounding more than a little hurt. "We can't help it that we're small."

Miriam glanced upward in thought. "No, I don't suppose you could." She smirked. "But I could."

Taken aback, Octavius repeated, "You could make us taller?"

Miriam nodded reflectively. "Yes. It would be incredibly simple. In fact, I could've done it years ago."

Jed crossed his arms. "Then why didn't you, for cryin' out loud?" he exclaimed.

Miriam shrugged and stood up. "Because I like you small. It's hilarious, really. Not to mention, it makes it so much easier to run away."

Before either miniature could respond, Miriam had bolted toward the exit and outside the museum.


	3. Chapter 3

Jedidiah and Octavius raced through the museum, desperate to reach the main exit. Who knew how far a magical tablet could get in just a few moments? Better not find out the hard way.

They were almost stopped completely by a huge metal foot falling from above. Luckily they managed to dodge it. "Hey, watch it!" Jed shouted at the owner of the foot: Sir Lancelot.

"I apologize, my little friends!" Lancelot laughed.

Jed didn't appreciate being called 'little,' and in Lancelot's case, he didn't like being called 'friend' either. Octavius didn't seem to mind at all, however. Shaking his head he replied, "No trouble at all."

Jed stared at his friend in bewilderment. "No trouble? This guy almost flattened us with his fancy, tin loafers! Now step aside, Shakespeare. We got a tablet to track down!"

The RC vehicle took off, but Lancelot followed. "You're on a quest, are you?" the knight questioned.

"Don't answer him," Jed instructed.

"Yes, in a sense," Octavius replied, completely ignoring Jed's advice.

"You mentioned the tablet," Lancelot continued. "Has it been stolen?"

Jed glanced warily at Lancelot. "Hey, yeah, you would know all about stolen tablets, wouldn't ya?"

Octavius elbowed Jed and continued to respond to Lancelot's questions. "It hasn't exactly been stolen, but it is our task to retrieve it."

They had just reached the door. The world outside the museum was covered with a fresh coat of snow.

"If you will have me, I believe I will join you on this quest," Lancelot announced pretentiously.

"Um, no thanks, pretty boy," Jed snapped. "We'll do just fine on our own."

Octavius stared at Jed. "Don't be stupid," he ordered. He turned to Lancelot. "Your assistance is appreciated and welcome," he returned with just as much show.

Jed grumbled under his breath. As much as he disliked Lancelot, he couldn't deny that the help of somebody… taller would be useful.

"Look here!" Lancelot cried. "Footprints! They lead to yonder forest! I believe our thief has taken off in that direction."

Jed rolled his eyes. "Well, how'd you find that one out?" he questioned sarcastically.

"I learned to track while training for knighthood in Camelot," Lancelot informed, looking rather pleased with himself.

"It holds no relevance at the moment," Octavius interrupted. "If that's where she's run off, that is where we must go. Onward!"

There triumphant charge into the forest was not everything they hoped. Lancelot was so much faster than Jed and Octavius's vehicle. The knight had to stop several times to let the two miniatures catch up. Frankly, the whole situation was embarrassing.

"Perhaps it would be better if I carried you," Lancelot suggested once they were already fairly deep amongst the trees.

Jed shook his head with deep conviction. "Uh-uh. No way, Shakespeare, we can handle ourselves."

"How ridiculous of you, Jedidiah," Miriam's voice came from behind. "You know if you wanted to find me within the time left in the night, you would have to enlist Lancelot's help. Honestly, I thought I was dealing with professionals."

Lancelot stared at Miriam in bewilderment. "This is the thief? She stole the tablet?"

Miriam rolled her eyes. "No, I did not steal the tablet. I _am_ the tablet, but I'm sure the night guard will explain all that to you later."

Suddenly, Jed burst out laughing with no explanation.

"What is it?" Octavius asked.

They waited whilst Jed regained his wits. Through his laughter he said, "Shakespeare in the park."

Octavius audibly groaned.

"What a shame Shakespeare isn't here!" Miriam lamented. "I might actually have somebody intelligent to talk to! Right now it's only Little Lord Fauntleroy, the Two Tom Thumbs, and the park ranger that keeps chasing me."

"Whoa," Jedidiah interrupted. "You didn't say nothin' about a park ranger!"

Miriam tapped her finger on her chin. "I'm sure I must have. He was right behind me just a second ago. I wonder where he's gotten to." The whiny of a horse just a few yards away answered her question. "You may want to run. Follow me!" Miriam began running.

"Pardon me, my lady," Lancelot called, matching her pace. "Are we not heading away from the museum?"

"More like away from the ranger, but alright!" Miriam confirmed. "Who wants to go back to that dusty old place, anyway?"

"I do!" Octavius answered. He and Jedidiah were lagging several feet behind.

"How did you get all the way back there, you small, little things?" Miriam sighed. She ran back and picked up their vehicle.

"Put us down," Jedidiah hollered vehemently.

"No," Miriam answered simply.

They four exhibits nearly collided with Larry, who had blocked their path. "Put them down, Miriam," he instructed firmly.

Miriam rolled her eyes. "How did I guess that you would show up sooner or later? If I put them down, how do expect to outrun the blasted ranger?"

"We're not going to outrun him," Larry explained coolly. "We're going to hide from him and then head back to the museum."

"I won't," Miriam defied him, crossing her arms.

Larry wasted no time in restraining her. He covered her mouth and pinned her arms at her sides. He hid them both behind a tree and told the others to do the same. The ranger trotted by without a second glance in their direction.

Miriam bit Larry's hand once the ranger had gone by. He pulled it back with a brief cry of pain. "Don't ever presume that you can confine me again," Miriam instructed irritably.

"We're headed back to the museum right now," Larry informed, somehow getting the impression that she wouldn't brave New York by herself. "We have to hurry. I left Tilly in charge."

Lancelot and Miriam both cringed. "Lord, help them all," Lancelot muttered.

When the group got back to the museum, things seemed to be in order. Evidently, Larry hadn't left Tilly alone long enough to cause any real damage.

Sunrise wouldn't be long now. Miriam shuffled toward the Egyptian exhibit. "I can't imagine having to be you," she told Larry.

"Why's that?" he questioned.

"It would be so difficult having to teach a class after having an exhausting night with no sleep," she yawned.

"Oh, yeah," Larry agreed. He had half-forgotten that he was a teacher as well as a night guard now. Tomorrow would be tiring, but afterwards he would work out a schedule to put in some sleep.

Ahkmenrah was a mess in the Egyptian exhibit. He was pacing back and forth nervously. His sarcophagus was open, waiting for him to get in. He only saw Miriam and Larry when he looked up briefly.

"Where was she?" Ahkmenrah asked.

"She was taking a lovely stroll through Central Park," Miriam sighed. "You would've loved it. There was lots of snow. Were you worried about me?"

Larry interrupted. "Maybe we should figure out where you're going to spend the night."

"No need," Miriam answered, waving his words away. "I've arranged everything. This was fun. We'll do it again tomorrow."

Larry's eyebrows furrowed. "Sorry, did you just say we would do this again tomorrow?"

Miriam shrugged. "Or possibly not. You know. It depends on my mood." With those words, she pressed her palm against the spot where she normally hung. She began to melt into a pool of gold liquid which crept up the wall and formed into the tablet as Larry knew it.

Larry considered Miriam's words and wondered just how much of his future would revolve around Miriam's moods.


	4. Chapter 4

The next nightfall, Sir Lancelot woke up smelling adventure in the air. Of course, being a (wax) knight of the Round Table, this was how he always woke up. However, in light of recent events involving the tablet, he remained optimistic. After all, it wasn't every day he found himself in a setting that he had yet to explore.

Naturally, Lancelot knew that a quest was not going to stroll its way to where he stood, begging to be taken up. The only way to receive a quest was to go out and look for one, and so he did.

There were times he wished that he wasn't made of wax. Being unable to venture from the museum did limit his opportunities. He often caught himself thinking how dull exhibits were until he remembered that he, too, was an exhibit. However, he was aware of a subject, shrouded in mystery, that was sure to bring along some adventure. Perhaps Larry and Ahkmenrah could use some help with the tablet.

"How many times do I have to say it, Miriam?" Larry was saying when Lancelot entered the Egyptian exhibit. "Ahkmenrah can't babysit you, not now, not ever."

Miriam was sitting on top of Ahkmenrah's empty sarcophagus, arms crossed and looking as arrogant as Sir Gwaine. "Well, somebody didn't get their nap in today," she sighed. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you if you don't figure out a sleeping schedule soon."

"Listen, the point is that I can't do it," Ahkmenrah interrupted. He was staring at Miriam in righteous anger. It was rather unlike him, Lancelot noted. He usually seemed to be a kind sort of person. "You're the person who demanded that someone watch you."

"The night guard would have had somebody do it anyway, dear," Miriam snapped. "I know you're avoiding me, and that's alright. Any person with a hint of intelligence would do the same."

Lancelot decided to intervene. "What's going on here?" he inquired.

"We're trying to figure out who's gonna watch Miriam," Larry responded, his exasperation evident in his voice.

"And I keep saying, if they'll just listen to me, they'll make things a lot easier on themselves," Miriam announced as though she had said it a thousand times.

"Sorry, Miriam, it's not happening," Larry retorted.

"Fine, but that leaves you with the question: who's going to watch me?" Miriam pointed out. "I highly doubt that there's a line outside just dying to volunteer like bloody Katniss Everdeen."

"I'll do it," Lancelot spoke up. "I have the training of a knight of Camelot. I'm sure that I am more than capable of handling a mischievous girl."

Miriam stared at Lancelot in distaste. "Technically, I could light a match and end you."

"You wouldn't dare," Lancelot growled.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" Miriam laughed.

"Guys, guys," Larry interrupted. "No one's melting anyone. Look, Lancelot, if you think you can handle her, go for it." He and Ahkmenrah left as quickly as they could, desperate to be away from Miriam.

Miriam ran her hands over her face and groaned. "You would think they would learn after last night's episode," she muttered into her hands. "Honestly, I thought I raised them better than that…"

"Perhaps it would help if you didn't act so above them," Lancelot suggested.

Miriam stared at him in silence. "You're one to talk," she finally said.

"A true knight is humble. It is one of the first things I was taught. I know it would work. Look, all it took was a little humility from me, and I'm everybody's friend. You could take a page out of the book of true knighthood. Not that such a thing exists, of course, but metaphorically speaking…"

Miriam waved aside his speech. "Please, please. I've never heard anybody talk more than me until now, and I can't say it's pleasant." With that, Miriam hopped up from the sarcophagus and clapped her hands together. "Well, now that we've established that we hate each other, let's get moving."

She began to walk out of Egypt like a queen gone to survey her kingdom. Lancelot followed her dutifully, eager to keep her out of trouble. He had to admit that he wasn't entirely sure what he should and shouldn't allow her to do, but letting her walk around the museum wouldn't cause any harm, surely.

Miriam walked with purpose, letting her eyes scan the crowd as though she were a bird of prey.

"Are you searching for something?" Lancelot questioned.

Miriam sighed. "Yes, I'm looking for the night guard, now be a dear and shut up."

Lancelot was not used to being treated with such disrespect. That being said, Miriam's snippy disposition did, in fact, shut him right up.

"Oh! There he is!" Miriam finally announced. She ran to meet Larry, and Lancelot continued to follow her. "Night guard," she called. "I wanted to say, I am so terribly sorry about the way I've just behaved. Lancelot has taught me a valuable lesson in humility."

Larry furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Lancelot. "You did?" he inquired incredulously.

"I did?" Lancelot repeated. "I mean, yes, I suppose I did." It seemed strange to the knight that Miriam should so abruptly have a change of heart. Of course, he understood how such a profound lesson could quickly take effect.

"I don't know about that," Larry began cautiously. "That seems a little… not your style."

Miriam looked away dejectedly. "I understand if you don't believe me just yet," she sighed. "But I can promise you that I am a changed woman. No hard feelings?" And before Larry could blink, Miriam had pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. When she pulled away, she gave Larry a friendly grin, her hands clasped behind her back. "I'm so glad our differences have been resolved," she chirped. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Lancelot's going to show me around the museum. Aren't you, Lance?" She turned to Lancelot with wide, expectant eyes.

"Of course, my lady, if you like," Lancelot promised.

"Excellent!" And with that she skipped off.

Before Lancelot could follow her, Larry stopped him. "I wouldn't trust her, yet," Larry informed. "She might seem nice now, but you never know when she's faking it."

Lancelot was hesitant to agree with Larry. It seemed possible that she could have turned a new leaf to him. He wanted his words to have had an impact. "We shall see, won't we?" he answered at last. Lancelot left to follow Miriam after that.

"Where would you like to go first?" Lancelot asked when he caught up with her.

Miriam's attitude had changed almost entirely. She wore a bright smile and hummed absently. The one thing that appeared to remain the same was the impish glint in her eyes. "You know," she sang, "I spent all that time in Egypt, and I was never truly able to explore the rest of Africa. Let's head over there."

Lancelot nodded his agreement and let Miriam lead the way. She had lived in the museum in New York for sixty years at the least. There was a great chance that she knew how to navigate the museum better than he.

They didn't stop until they found themselves in a vacant hallway, standing in front of a doorway that was blocked by a metal gate. The sounds of all manner of creatures trumpeted from inside.

"Say hello to the wilderness of my continent," she muttered, clinging to the iron bars of the gate with maniac glee.

"Are you quite sure we're meant to be here?" Lancelot interrogated carefully.

"Of course," Miriam confirmed, nodding solemnly. "If we weren't meant to be here, these wouldn't have fallen into my hands." With that, she produced a ring of keys from behind her back. "I'm a strong believer in fate, you see," she continued, examining the keys.

"Ah, here's the right one!" she finally announced. She took a single key from the ring and with it unlocked the gate. Miriam marched straight through the jungle, leaving Lancelot no choice but to continue to follow her.

She led him to the savannah exhibit, where a number of lions sat, keeping a watchful eye on their pride. "Here, kitty, kitty," Miriam taunted.

"I'm not sure that's wise," Lancelot interrupted as the largest of the beasts set its eyes on them.

"I know what I'm doing," Miriam insisted as the lion's tongue darted out of its mouth, anticipating the taste of fresh meat. "Here, you little cub," she resumed. "Kitty cat, come here."

The creature crouched down, already devouring them in its mind. Miriam began to back up slowly. "Get ready," she instructed. "Ready… I hope that armor doesn't slow you down. Run!"

Lancelot leaped out of the lion's way just as it pounced. Miriam was already out the door. Lancelot followed her, and the lion pursued.

"Keep well out of its way, Sir Lancelot," Miriam laughed as she ran. "I wouldn't want the poor creature to be disappointed when it discovers it's made wax its meal!"

The beast was on their heels. It was beginning to be difficult to evade it. They led it to the main foyer where a sweltering mass of exhibits hung about. The two of them became one with the crowd, but the lion was not about to give up on its prey. It sent all of the exhibits into a mad scramble for safety, except Miriam.

The tablet stood, watching her work with a mad gleam in her eyes. She turned her gaze on Lancelot, and he began to feel he would rather have the lion staring at him. "Don't you get it, _Lance?"_ She laughed at his ignorance. She had made him trust her. "I act as though I'm above everybody else because I _am_." She gestured widely to the lion as it plundered its way through the screaming throng. "And don't you see? This is what happens when I don't get what I want." 


	5. Chapter 5

The screams of exhibits from the main hall sent Larry and Ahkmenrah running to see the problem. In the midst of the terrorized crowd was a lion that had somehow escaped from Africa.Even when Larry was just beginning his career as a night guard, there wasn't as much chaos as there was now.

The exhibits scurried back and forth in groups. The first person to try to break away would be the lion's choice victim. Rexy, for all his size, seemed unwilling to do anything. Instead, he stepped around timidly and cautiously, trying to avoid squashing anybody. He cowered from the lion as though he had forgotten how big he was. Lancelot had his sword drawn and was doing his best to make sure that the beast didn't do any serious harm, but there was only so much a single knight could do without destroying the lion.

Miriam was standing on Rexy's pedestal, looking on and laughing. Of course, she was behind this. She was the only person who would think to let a carnivore loose on a crowd of innocents. The only questions were how and why. Nevertheless, the question to be asked then and there was how to get the lion back to Africa.

"Ahk! Block his front!" Larry instructed. Together, Larry and Ahk cut the lion off from the masses, Jurassic World style. The lion growled in protest. "I'm giving you one chance, Simba," Larry informed the animal calmly. "Get back to your exhibit." Simba glared at Larry vehemently, but relaxed in defeat.

"Congratulations, you've just ended this in the most anti-climatic way ever." Larry and Ahkmenrah looked in the direction of the voice that had just spoken. Miriam had jumped down from the pedestal and was shaking her head in disappointment. "That was the most boring thing, I've ever seen. Honestly, you might as well have let the big kitty keep on with whatever he pleased. That would've been far more entertaining."

"You know what, Miriam?" Larry snapped. "Just stay out of it. You've done enough."

"Enough? I'm just getting started, really," Miriam scoffed.

While Larry was distracted, Simba saw his opportunity and pounced on Ahkmenrah. The pharaoh let out a cry of pain and terror and tried to push the lion off, but to no avail.

Miriam, seemingly in a panic, made a pulling gesture from Rexy to the lion and vice versa, wisps of golden magic encircling her arms.

Simba no longer seemed interested in doing something drastic like biting Ahkmenrah's head off. Instead, it began behaving a lot like a dog. Licking Ahkmenrah's face, chasing its own tail, and other normal canine things.

Miriam sighed in relief, her shoulders relaxing. "That could've been terrible. It's a good thing I do well under pressure."

"What exactly _did_ you do?" Ahkmenrah questioned, standing up.

"I took Rexy's soul and switched it with the lion's. Genius move on my part, really." She looked exhausted, but especially pleased with herself.

Ahkmenrah furrowed his eyebrows. "If you switched their souls, then doesn't that mean that Rexy has the lion's soul now?"

Miriam's smile faded. She turned around to see Rexy, crouching low to the ground, ready to pounce. "In my defense," she gulped, "It _was_ the best I could do under the circumstances."

All at once, the exhibits and Larry were all on the run again. This time they were running from Rexy. But at the same, it wasn't Rexy. It was all very confusing. In fact, the only person who wasn't confused was Miriam, who was lagging several paces behind.

"Come on!" Larry hollered at her.

"I'm trying! Cut me a bit of slack won't you?" she replied irritably.

"Can't you switch their souls again?" Ahkmenrah suggested.

"No! I can't!" she snapped.

"Why not?" Larry questioned.

Miriam, growing slower by the second, rolled her eyes. "Because, I'm tired! As the kids these days say: duh!"

Larry rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure how much truth there was in what Miriam was saying. He only knew that they had to take cover, and fast. "See if you can hide under the desk!" he instructed. Taking his own suggestion, he slid under the desk and was soon crushed on both sides by Miriam and Ahkmenrah. "You have to fix this, Miriam," Larry demanded. "It's your mess, you clean it up."

"There isn't a way to fix it," Miriam huffed. "We're just going to have to survive the night."

"There are more people trying to survive than just us three," Larry snapped. "You had better think of something, fast."

The desk shook and creaked, paper spilling from the top of it. "Alright, alright!" Miriam yelled. "I have an idea, but you're not going to like it."

Rexy roared viciously above them. It wouldn't be long before he discovered their hiding spot. "Just do it!" Larry ordered.

Sighing, Miriam crawled out from under the desk and jumped to her feet. "Hey, you overgrown gecko!" she called to Rexy. "Come chase me!"

Larry and Ahkmenrah heard Rexy stomp after Miriam, and that was it. They abandoned their shelter, looking for any sign of what Miriam planned to do. There was none.

"Where do you think she went?" Ahkmenrah quizzed.

"I don't know. I'm more worried about what she's doing," Larry responded.

"I doubt it could be anything good, real—" Mid-sentence, Ahkmenrah collapsed into a shriveled corpse.

"Ahk!" Larry exclaimed in shock. All around him, the exhibits were frozen in still-life. "Guys?" Larry tried to find signs of any consciousness, in vain. "What did she do?" he muttered to himself. "Miriam?" he shouted. She didn't answer. "Miriam!"

There was no sign of her or Rexy. Larry got the feeling that Miriam was in her home-exhibit, so he walked the claw-scuffed path to Egypt. Rexy was just outside the exhibit, motionless in mid-roar. Merenkahre and Shepseheret were in about the same boat as Ahkmenrah: dead and a heap on the floor. And on the wall was Miriam, in her tablet state.

Larry ran his hand over his face. Supposedly, Miriam didn't have another option, but there was no way that he was going to be able to clean up the entire museum without help by opening the next day.

"What's going on?" questioned a voice behind Larry. He spun around to see Tilly staring around at the museum in bewilderment. He had nearly forgotten about her.

"Well, the tablet turned Rexy into a lion and then fell asleep, so I'm not sure I'm the person you should be asking," Larry responded, exasperated.

"Well, you're right about one thing," Tilly replied. "I wish I hadn't asked you. But if everyone's all asleep or whatever, do you think I could head out for the night?"

It wasn't a good idea. Larry needed help straightening up. "Actually, Tilly, I think that's—"

"Great!" she sang. "See ya tomorrow."

Larry tried to call after her but it was too late. She was deaf to protest.

Alone, Larry did what little he could. He moved the lion, who appeared to have been chasing its tail, back to Africa. He carefully placed Ahkmenrah and his parents back in their sarcophaguses. He scoured the place for miniatures and put back as many as he could find. By then, having not slept for an entire day, he was exhausted. He fell asleep in the middle of the miniatures exhibits.

The next morning, Larry woke up to the feeling of a well-polished shoe digging in to his side.

"Hello?" a voice called. "Are you all done napping, Sleeping Beauty? Because I really want to hear your explanation for what happened to my museum." It was McPhee.

"Um, yeah, sure thing," Larry grumbled as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up. "Just give me a minute. I'm kind of disoriented."

"No, you know what's disorienting? Walking in here and finding a great, big, bloody dinosaur skeleton frozen in Egypt!"

Larry sighed. There would be no calming McPhee until he knew every single detail of the previous night. He explained everything.

"So, those kids were all magic and… whatever…" McPhee observed.

"Yeah, and they kinda screwed up the tablet, like I thought they might," Larry mumbled.

"Well, this is fantastic," McPhee laughed. "Nothing's all that bad. You're the magic man, and you'll figure it out. Meanwhile, I've got the day off. Tootles!"

Larry scrambled to his feet. "Wait, no! Dr. McPhee!" The director didn't listen. What was it with British people and not listening?

Larry looked around the museum. It really was a mess. If Miriam caused chaos like this every night, it was only going to get progressively worse. There was only one way to pacify her.

That night, after a well-earned nap, Larry headed back to the museum. He waited in Egypt until sundown. He watched as the tablet melted into a puddle on the floor which blossomed into Miriam.

Rexy, in all his newfound viciousness, growled. "Oh get back to your cage, you big baby," Miriam scolded, switching the lion's soul with Rexy's yet again. The Tyrannosaurus leapt off happily, as if nothing had happened. "Well, that was possibly the longest time I've been asleep in quite a while," she yawned. "Help me get Ahk out, won't you?" Together, Miriam and Larry pushed the lid off of the sarcophagus and helped Ahkmenrah out.

"Ahk, Miriam, we need to talk," Larry began.

"Let's clear this up right now. Yes, what I did was inexcusable. Yes, I will probably do it again," Miriam sighed.

"You don't even know what you're doing, really, do you?" Ahkmenrah interrogated.

"Darling, I've been alive just as long as you. Longer if you count the time you've been dead," Miriam pointed out, with little venom in her words.

Larry intervened. "Miriam, you're not going to stop wreaking havoc until you get your way, will you?"

"Absolutely not."

Larry turned to Ahkmenrah. "Ahk, do you think you could handle her for just one night? She promises not to hurt anything. Right, Miriam?"

Miriam stared at her nails, seeming disinterested. "Oh, I won't do anything on purpose. I guarantee that."

Ahkmenrah hesitated. "Larry, there are things she does. Only I know about it, really. Trust me she's more of a sociopath than you think."

"You'll never have to do it again, Ahk, I promise. Please, just to keep everybody safe," Larry pleaded.

Ahkmenrah sighed but did not protest.

Miriam grinned, in what might've been genuine happiness. "Excellent! You run on your merry way, night guard. We'll be just fine right here. I swear on Khonsu, that I won't cause any trouble!"

Larry paused a moment, considering if this was really his best idea, but he soon brushed it aside, leaving Ahkmenrah with Miriam.


End file.
